Media Training Worldwide

Self-Talk Your Way to Self-Destruction

When I am out on the golf course, I ignore the sand trap and I focus on the pin. I visualize hitting a hole in one. I relax. I breathe deeply. I “see” my success before it happens.

The result?

I slice the ball into the woods. Next, I hook the ball into the parking lot. The positive, feel-good stuff does not work for me on the golf course.

Next, I go to the basketball court to the half court line. I visualize sinking a net shot. I aim, I shoot and…whooof. Nothing but air. I miss everything.

Positive thinking really doesn’t help in many areas of life that involve skill and talent.

Happily and thankfully, public speaking is not one of those areas. Simply having a great attitude can make you a much better speaker. Unfortunately, having a lousy attitude can make you a horrible speaker. Some of my public speaking skills clients come in with the attitude of “I can’t deliver a speech” “I am a lousy speaker or “I’ll never be a competent speaker.”

And then I say, “You are right, with that attitude, you will be a lousy speaker.”

If you refuse to give your self credit when you make improvements on your speech, your negative self-talk will doom you to disaster. It never fails to amaze me that people who had the patience to get writing instruction every day for 12 or 16 years expect to learn how to give a great speech in 45 minutes. It takes time to move from a bad speaker to an OK speaker and from OK to great. But everything important takes time.

An important part of the process is not getting discouraged. Imagine how bad off we would all be if everyone who got a C- on a book reporter in 3rd grade said “That’s it, I can’t write. I will never write again as long as I live!”

The process of becoming a better speaker is to practice as often as possible and to watch yourself on videotape. Don’t let the things you hate overwhelm you. Instead, focus on what you are doing well. Then, focus specifically on how to minimize the things you don’t like. If you repeat this often enough, you will become an excellent speaker.